Weekend Ordeals

Lord. The weekend was had and had largely. I was practically drunk or hung over the whole time. I was not a fan. So ill.

Friday night. Went out for Dinner. It was gooood. SO between two people we went through, sushi, two bottles of wine, 4 cocktails, sake (FREE) and more sake. Oh and then went to Down town local (NO JUDGEMENT), had a jug of beer (between three girls), but also got this beer bought for me by this guy, mind you, dunno if it was worth it I had to sit there and listen to his weird ass stories about the simply red concert (bore) shoulda told him to take the beer back and that it was NOT worth it. But didnt.
Then went to Rain (no more further judgement), drunk red bull and vodka, vodka and limes, then a bitta drama started with one of the girls i was with and her boyfriend (wasnt overly impressed with this bitch, she txt me ex while i was letting her use my phone to txt her boyf, and said i was on a date that night. Like please, dont.."Tell him it was just me being a dick" yeah,,, sounds SO believable. Oh well), saw some people i knew at rain, which was cool, but most of the night i was getting txties from a work mate/ friend of mine and he was telling me to come meet him.
So ditched the drama and went to meet him. moment i walked in he had a shot and some drink waiting for me. He was with another one of my work mates, who was like "Heard your single, will you fuck me now?" "Charming , of course" . Sarcasim. Wouldnt. Ever. And it was just amazing chilling with these boys. So rad. Apart from them thinking im some sort of blow up doll, grabbing my ass, picking me up, pushing me into random guys. But I was too drunk to care/do anything about it. Plus , there mates.
We then went to mini bar. And this guy started talking to me. My tolerance for assholes is literally at 0, and i was like " God help the first guy who comes up and talks to me i swear" Cos i would be mean. BUT was nice to this guy. He was talking to me about fuck knows what, and then i was like "Look, im NOT going to bone you and im NOT even going to kiss you" He said "cool I dont buy girls drinks" I said "Good for you" and 5 mins later I had a drink, and he didnt have a pash. One for me, NONE for him. He got my number. He said he wanted to "kick it old school and take me on a date" ,,, i was kean for the moment. Then as he was getting to know my friends, and just generally trying a bit too hard, I really couldnt care less. I became completely dissintereted. I think its the whole "get out there , get amongst it, find someone else" Ive always done shit at my own pace, you know? No one can rush me, no one can make me do something I dont wanna do, and I honestly was just like, Its not what I had. Which is a bit mean on my part, just flat out not ready. I dont even know if I could pash someone else. Is that weird?
then I had a panic attack basically, and was just like i cannot do this!!? I looked at my friend, and was like "Love you, but im not feeling this, Think i needa go, I needa leave" and he was like "go go go , its ok, i understand" I didnt even say anything to that guy. He txt me. Dont care. Didnt respond.

Saturday. this party. so much fun. yet again, panic attack. Im telling you, there was some babes that night, i was like holy crap, so fine. But I only talked to like two of them. then just hung out with my friends, and walked home by myself after my panic attack through rapes alley. IDIOT. cannot afford to get myself in that position again. So need to either, stop drinking or dont go to the burbs. Think itll be the drinking thing though. Clearly mentally i cannot handle it right now.
Ive got some time off comming up, might be going to see mum. would be amazing if i could. needa good break. instead of breakdown.

Sunday i went and visited my fam for lunch , got given so much food, then went supermarket shopping. love pack and save. Came home, and to be honest, was a bit sad. Prolly the natural depression from the bender i just had. But was preeettttty lonely. So just put my ass to bed. I saw 3am on the clock. O dear. Oh well im sure itll be fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeee.