Here then Gone- How am i suppose to take it like a man?

Few things going through my head ....

Dunno if this weekend has been a learning curve, reality check or just plain old abuse... but i have not enjoyed it.

Basically a couple of people have bought somethings to light about me as an individual / relationship wise.

Im not just talking about a relationship between bee eff and gee eff , im also talking about the friends kind, the acquaintance kind and the kind between when one person meets another.

I cant help but feel attacked. Like , how much attacking/"advice" does one person give another before its like, hold on, what do you actually like about me then? why are you even friends with me? Why are you in a relationship with me? but then flip it right, if someone is genuine in the fact that you do actually have some human issues, and bring it up with you, is that an attack?

Maybe its always going to seem like an attack if your on the receiving end.

Am i being to sensitive? Maybe. Am i overreacting? Maybe. Am i going to change my ways? Maybe.

If i change my ways, am i still whole heartedly me? Or am i just being shaped by the people around me? Since when have i ever let someone tell me how i should be or what i should do?Fuck me, maybe im too stubborn. Is it about weighing up the healthy? Like, if it is a relevant change, something that is an issue (according too certain people), and the result of me changing is healthy and not toxic, thats ok right?

I have so many questions.

But then what, we kiss and make up?

Alotta shit been goin sideways...

So basically, ive been slack, busy, creativley dry and just yea... sllllaaaaaacccccccck ass.

What the fuck has been going on? Well i think NZ is slowly dissapearing. And the whole world will just all of a sudden be like, New Zealand? New Zealand who? MEH , its only a cool 4milly people that we lost. But seriously, its scary stuff! Earth quakes every fucking 5seconds. And the thing is, if Welly has one, we are seriously screwed. Fault line= death. I dont know how people are continuing to live in CHCH, i would be honestly, outskies. I couldnt stand the anxiety. I can bearly take it, and im not even down there. Yes, im being a paranoid freak, but natural disasters have always been my nightmare. Some people have clowns, animals etc. mine is natural disasters. Tsunamis are the worse. AND earthquakes cause tsunamis so you can see the root of my fear right??? Eff me.
The moment another HUGE disaster in this country happens, i think i will move too, i dunno, a desert in Australia.

Other news? Went to Taupo over the weekend. amazing. Got stranded in Ohakune due to snow closing all the roads. And we had to stay with this random couple in this cabin thing. Odd, i know. but so funny and random. Plans are way better when they dont go accordingly... So they were upstairs, me and my bf were on this shitty fold out couch and the two lesbians were on this single bed. they were freaking out that the old couple were going to die of shock seeing two woman in bed together. I just hoped i didnt hear anyone boning (the lesbians OR the old couple). But all in all a good trip. there were a million "Would you rather" Moments. they were all completely sexual of course. Its the best way to get to know people.

Fashion? Im excited for summer. Im not going to lie. Its getting a bit warmer now (THANK YOU SPRING), i guess im really going to smash floral/patterns with combat boots, Long skirts (Also with combat boots), And im keeping the rest secret...

Peace.x