Wary

I sometimes hesitate before I start writing in this thing. Looking back over my entries I can see the posts where Im at peace, and have had time to think about what I want to write verses the entries where I am full blown emotion, straight into it, not holding back , I dont give a cows tit who sees what Im writing - ( Cows tit? How Kiwi).
I do wonder what would people would think if they were to read these posts. That scares me. Because in no way am I a simple human being, with simple needs, and lead a simple life. Im just not. Im not going to sit here and pretend im basic. Im far from it. Im a girl. We are all the same. And I take sanity in the fact that this is the case. But I wonder sometimes if it is too much for someone to handle. Admittedly no one has this address that would condem me. Well hopefully not. I doubt anyone even really reads this. Which I am more then ok with , thats what it was designed for. It would be kinda cool, if when I died, that this remained, and that anyone would be able to stumble across it, and then I would be worth more dead then alive? Actually that would mostly suck. I wanna be worth more alive so I can enjoy it- ANYWAY. Sidetracked.
I just think that if anyone was to know the inner thoughts that people have, it would really put us off each other. Im not talking, sick and perverted thoughts (thats just issues) but Im talking the little comebacks that you have in your mind, the little judgements, how you really feel about yourself and other people and the situations. I am scared to say somethings outloud just incase they are used against me. Because naturally people get annoyed when you say one thing and do another. I know I do. So for me? I stay silent most of the time. Theres certain things that I dont even write in this also, because I do fear that people will read it and seceretly hold it against me. Which dissapointing people, or If I feel like I have to do something to stop someone from being annoyed at me - really pisses me off.