Motivation Proclamation

this week I have accomplished the following things:

- I worked out monday at a school netball courts doing drills, which nearly killed me. I was sore straight after, so I knew it was not going to feel pretty the next day. I like that feeling of like you really have worked out. No more walking up hills- Its time to run bitches.

- I worked over 50 hours.

-I went to my first ever hip hop class!!! It was freaking cool. Like I felt like a real dick, and decided that im not a dancer. But at the same time, Its a good work out, the people are rad, and everyone sucks, so I dont feel like the odd cool one that knows how to shake my money maker. I also went with two of my flat mates, and one is super gay, and fark it was halerious. He was right up the front, stiff as hell, had a gross sweat patch but was always kean, asking questions, and just such a participater. It was ridiculous. Me and my other flat mate were in the back just pissing ourselves laughing at him. There is also a great looking boy who goes there, his name is Connor. He introduced himself to me, and said "see you next week"... Leaps and Bounds. haha im being a dick. Not the reason Im going . I swear.

- I have had a lot of family time. Went to see hang over two (ave) and went to a rugby game (stadium, also ave) but my Dads being so weird at the moment. Like offering to take me shopping etc. He bought me like $270 worth of sports clothes. Typical male. Basically the only thing my dad would shell out for. BUT apparently he told my sister not to tell me, that hes taking me shopping this afternoon. How odd. Maybe this time for clothes that are high fash.

- Im not going to lie. I feel like I havnt JUST succeeded this week. I have failed. Im so hard on myself, I dont really know how to stop. Theres this thing inside me, when im like, ' good job, look at all the things you did this week' that says 'yeah but look at what you didnt do, and look at what you failed at' so I feel kinda shit. Dont know how to get rid of that. Guess it will take time. Or maybe I will just always strive for perfection, maybe Ill get there, and ill be happy. Or maybe I wont and I will always be miserable and measuring my success as half empty.