I literally have about 4 2B5s full of my writing. Im going to start doing more. Start writing songs. The followings going to be REALLY sparatic.
Lets Go:
" I want to have a dream. A dream thats truely mine. To share with you. To succeed with you. To live for you. You will always be mine. How big is this world? And how small am I?"
"I know ive put our life on hold.
Its no wonder its starting to fold.
I love you and know what i gotta do.
I need to readjust and focus on you"
"I need to drop whats unnecessary and look on to the beautiful story"
TITLED- "IF I COULD SAY ANYTHING IT WOULD BE THIS"
- Do you want me or not?
-Do you respect me?
-I think your maturity lacks
-Get serious about stuff
-Would you kiss me in the rain?
-Would you jump into the ocean with me?
-Can you ever be on time?
-Will you make me blush?
-Can we play fight?
-Will you participate in my crazy ideas?
-Wanna get matchine PJs? Even though its kinda gay?
"Not getting serious about things, but not laughing"
"Always love, Have purpose and leave footprints"
"50's. Why isn't everything that way it was in the 50s? Pretty Dresses, Romance, Big cars, Values and freedom"
MY L TO H
"Your going to be the one i walk up the isle too. The one who comes on the Tauranga trips.We are going to have babies. I hope you want an adopted chinese baby girl as well. You will be the most attractive beast my eyes have ever seen. Ill want you all over me. I love the little things. "
"Emotions are wasted on myself, the rain wont last forever. Hearts becoming two halves of the same. throw away the lock and key, come follow me. I keep thinking, am i prepared? What if i do nothing instead? Im split in two. Half me, half you."
"Your love is there, like a night so clear. Out of the dark, you carry my heart. The answers fall like leaves, your love is all I need. So take me, a fallen girl on her knees."
"How can life be so good somedays and so shit the next? Its a rollercoaster that changes pace and gradient sparatically"
"Life is mostly uncontrollable and bad shit comes your way and you cant help it or do anything about it. Its all part of the individual script that is written for us, and if theres parts missing, the story wont make sense"
"I wanna write more songs. Songs about love, life and loss. How cliche' , yet, how relevant. Fuck pop culture, this is real stuff that i feel. I just haunt written it in lyrical form yet"
"I think my image on love has changed. I have never been in it. I hope I haunt cos I didn't pay much attention to it. My view on love used to very innocent and pure and made up of movie ideas, don't get me wrong, its a beautiful image for a girl to have, I just don't think its something i will get in the life that im leading. The lets dance in the rain, and run through the daisy field sort of stuff."
" Why do they call it 'falling in love' Like honestly, falling is not an ideal thing and it sounds like a complete contradiction in front of the words "In love". Just a thought"
Its funny looking over these diaries. they really were written in some of the toughest and greatest moments in my life. I feel like i used to be really intense. Good intense. I miss writing. Just pen meeting papers is a real betch now days. So i just sit on my mac, 2010 child that i am, and type. But i feel conflicted reading my diaries. conflicted to who I was, who I am , and Where im going. Because im sure they will be three very different people.
I gotta go to bed.
But listen to some Anthony Hamilton sometime soon. He's great. And Romantic.
Ps. Would you believe I have never been in love? True story.
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