My local news

Ive had a pretty stressful couple of weeks. I guess ive had my moments of being stressed out previously. I guess the older you get, the stress seems bigger or more or less a bigger deal. Stress is healthy, somewhat. It can be motivating. I however right now am not sleeping properly, my scalp is terrible, my skin is fucking out, my eyes are twitching (no doubt lack of sleep to blame here) its just ridiculous. I constantly feel anxious like I cant have fun because I have too many things to worry about. I hugely worry about money. I suppose everybody does, but Im thinking about the fact that I'm turning 24years old soon and I just want way more stability than I have already. I want to be smart about things, not impulsive. Not freak out when something unexpected comes up, I want to have savings etc and on my income this should all be possible. Yet I feel like I'm living pay cheque to pay cheque. This is my new years reso- financial stability.

I was sitting down reading the paper this morning, with my coffee and my vogals toast and as I was reading the paper I started to think about the ability to have things in your life change. Thought pattern? When I was in high school, I guess I was a bit of a writing nerd. I always did very well in English and I got asked to write for a local news paper a couple of times on reports/write ups for our school and what we have all been up to etc I had completely forgot about that opportunity and a couple of other creative writing pieces that had done well. Please understand that I am most likely the worse speller you have ever come across. Im known for having VERY poor spelling and get mocked all the time about it. When I was writing, I always wanted people to read something of mine, and be like 'woah look what she did with that, and how she said that, very cleverly done' that was always my goal. BUT this got me thinking about my path in life. Sometimes you just wonder if its all too late to change that path. Once you start heading down one path, do you just get so far down it that you realize its just all too hard to do a 180 and go down another. I wonder what would've happened if I had taken up something like journalism. I know this sounds really dumb and nerdy, but I kind of want to write a book. It would either be a biography, wait not a biography but one of those books where people say its got "fictional" characters but in reality its totally them and they name themselves like "Laura" when there names "Lauren" , or something along those lines. Or a book about love and what I have learnt. All sorts of love. Im kinda obsessed with the practicality of love vs the emotional pull on love. So I guess that would be interesting to do a novel on. I want to write a book but then I don't think I would want anyone I know to read it. I know that sounds weird, but I just would want to be brutally honest and I wouldn't want to hurt anyones feelings or have my Dad read about love and sex etc.

Maybe I will just start planning the book. It would be a good hobby/ side project. Anyway I have to get on with my Sunday. The boy is away at the moment and I miss him a bit. Hes only been away a week, so pathetic. He comes back in a few days, thank goodness.

Ps. My grammer's really terrible too.